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In this podcast I’ll be exploring a Universal Life Lesson found in Motion Pictures:
- I’ll explain how the Universe is always teaching you and giving you signs
- I’ll talk about a few movies that deliver the same universal message
- Finally, I’ll share how you can apply this universal teaching to your life
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The Universe – it isn’t just a gigantic void or space filled with planets, stars, galaxies, and life. It’s also the biggest school in the universe. The biggest university you could say. This university is full of lessons and learnings that have been around since the very beginning and will be around long after the end. These lessons are like laws or principles that when you follow them give you happiness and health and when you ignore them or completely disregard them you feel horrible and unhealthy.
These universal lessons and messages are delivered in many different ways, an infinite number of ways in fact and the signs, they are everywhere and they’re always there. Whether the sign comes in the form of the weather, or other people, a bird through the window, or seeing the same set of numbers over and over again the Universe is always communicating with you.
The most prominent communication tool used by the Universe is your bodymind. Your bodymind is always talking to you giving you subtle cues and clues to the lessons the Universe is providing you. For me it took decades of feeling like crap and having a sick-prone body before I took the hint and learned a very important lesson – my body does not agree with gluten. It also took many many years of feeling lonely and angry at family and friends because I was 100% absolutely certain that I was right and that they were wrong before I learnt another very important lesson – my mind prefers love and connection over anger and isolation. Okay Universe, I finally got it. It took me a while, but I got it. Lessons learned thank you very much and of course I’m still learning new lessons every day.
For such an infinitely large school the Universe’s list of lessons isn’t anywhere near as big, which is why you see the same themes and ideas being retold time and again in different movies of different genres.
I’m going to focus on three of these morals that have been told in countless movies and I’m going to make this a 3-part episode series where I’ll talk about each universal lesson and the movies that tell its tale in its own podcast.
Oh yes before I begin talking about the first universal lesson spoiler alert! If you haven’t seen any of the movies I’ll be exploring in this 3-part series you might want to come back to these episodes after you’ve watched them. I’ll be talking about the Kung Fu Panda trilogy, Wizard of Oz, the original Star Wars trilogy, Lion King, Toy Story, and the Matrix trilogy.
Alrighty then life lesson from the Universe numero uno. I’ll be exploring this lesson in the context of the first Kung Fu Panda movie, Wizard of Oz, Star Wars: A New Hope, and The Matrix.
In Kung Fu Panda Po is a Panda and the unlikely choice as the chosen one who must learn Kung Fu in order to become the Dragon Warrior and save the village. He is told that a sacred scroll would reveal to him the secret to limitless power and that he would only be allowed to read the scroll once he was worthy. After a long time training in martial arts and kung fu Po got the scroll and what did he find? What was the secret to limitless power? What did the scroll contain? Nothing, it was blank. Actually it was made out of golden parchment paper and it did show Po’s reflection. Po didn’t see it at the time, but later understood that there is no secret to limitless power or becoming the Dragon Warrior. He is the Dragon Warrior as long as he believes it to be true.
And a quote from the movie:
“To make something special you just have to believe it’s special.”
In the Wizard of Oz Dorothy and her dog Toto are swept away home and all from their Kansas farm to another world called Oz where Dorothy is gifted a pair of ruby slippers after their farmhouse falls on the Wicked Witch of the East. Dorothy and Toto along with their new friends Scarecrow (who has no brain), Tin Man (who has no heart), and Lion (who has no courage) they all go on an adventure following a yellow brick road to find the all powerful Wizard of Oz who is the only one who can help them get what they are missing and get Dorothy and Toto back home. The Wizard asks them to defeat the Wicked Witch of the West before he will help them, but after Dorothy and her friends defeat the witch they find out that the Wizard isn’t even a real wizard and he can’t help them. Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion soon realise that they didn’t need the Wizard’s help after all as they showed more than enough smarts, heart, and courage when they faced the witch. Dorothy also finds out that the ruby slippers she was wearing could take her home anytime she wanted, but she had to first figure out for herself through her adventure that there was nothing out there more important than what she already had.
Quote from the movie:
“…if I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with!”
In Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope Luke Skywalker finds himself alongside an old Jedi Knight, a space pirate, a Wookie, and two droids on a mission to save a princess and the rest of the galaxy from the Empire. Luke finds out that his father used to be a Jedi Knight and begins his own training to become a Jedi. Part of this training involves learning how to connect with and use the Force, an invisible energy field that can be used for good or evil. Luke struggles to feel the force flowing through him, but continues his training. After saving Princess Leia the planet that the Rebels are based on is targeted for destruction by the Empire’s most powerful weapon, the Death Star. Luke joins the fight against the Death Star with the Rebel flight squadron and the only way to destroy the Death Star is by using the fighter’s own targeting computer system. A couple of attempts are made to destroy the Death Star using the computer system, but they all fail. Luke is reminded by his mentor’s voice to ‘use the Force’ and to ‘let go’. Luke realises that he can’t rely on the computer and that he has what it takes to get this job done. Luke relaxes into himself and takes the shot and score! He destroys the Death Star. A metaphysical nudge from his mentor and a second to pause and think is all Luke needed to believe he could do it, to believe that the Force was and is flowing through him.
A quote from the movie:
“The Force will be with you… always!”
Ah yes finally The Matrix my favourite movie of all of the times. It’s the future and the human race are slaves to intelligent self-aware machines. The machines use living human bodies as a source of energy, while the minds of these bodies are trapped in a virtual digital world known as the Matrix. Neo has been freed from this world of control and he’s been told that he is the only one that can stop the machines. Neo doesn’t believe this and even after he ‘knows kung fu’ he still has doubts. After visiting an Oracle that can see into the future Neo finds out that he isn’t the one after all.
After taking a massive risk saving his mentor and friend Morpheus, Neo now comes face-to-face with the machines toughest agents of control in the Matrix, called funnily enough an Agent. Neo is now faced with a choice – whether to stay and fight or run. All his training and even what he just learnt from the Oracle tells him to run, but for some reason he stays and fights. As another character Morpheus puts it, ‘he’s beginning to believe’. After putting up a good fight Neo realises he’s no match for the Agent and so he does run, but to no avail. Neo is killed by the Agent. Or is he? Yes the Neo full of doubt is dead, but a new Neo rises and this guy believes 100% no doubt about it that he is the one and knows this through and through and Neo takes out the Agent that killed him with ease. Once Neo killed off his old negative beliefs and doubts he was able to fully accept that he really was the one.
A quote from the movie:
“Don’t think you are, know you are.”
So what’s the lesson and common theme in all these films?
The protagonist or leading character goes on an adventure to find something. Throughout their journey they are learning and discovering more about who they are and what they’re capable of. Near the end of their journey they have a moment of clarity and realisation, which is if they believe and trust in their own abilities then there’s no need to go seeking for something out there as they have everything they need to accomplish great things within themselves already.
How you can realise and discover this belief in yourself?
One simple practice you can do are daily affirmations. Yeah a lot of people scoff at this idea, but this is the real deal people.
As Napoleon Hill author of Think and Grow Rich states:
“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”
By stating an affirmation as fact to yourself every day you begin to break up old neural pathways and patterns of thinking in your bodymind and you begin to create new pathways, new roads to success, you create new habits and you create a new way of being.
A daily affirmation I say to myself every morning I get out of bed no matter how I’m feeling, how hot or cold the temperature is, how sunny or wet it is outside, I say to myself:
“It’s another day in paradise.”
And immediately I just can’t help but smile.
Another affirmation I like to use especially if I’m feeling some self-doubt about my abilities or if I let someone else’s negative energy get to me is a quote from the movie Cool Runnings, but I change it up a bit. I say to myself or out loud:
“I am pride. I am power. I am a strong being of energy who shares love with everybody.”
Another affirmation I like to use every now and then is:
“I am happy, I am healthy, I am whole. I take my love wherever I go.”
Shout out to Holistic Health practitioner Paul Chek for that one.
A few tips about affirmations.
Daily affirmations can be done at any time of the day and as many times as you feel. But the secret to affirmations is this – you have to believe what you’re saying. Without belief words are powerless. With belief words become powerful.
Best way to enhance your belief is to visualise what you would look like, be like, and how you would be acting as if those words were true. Your mind doesn’t make a distinction between a physical event and a mental thought. They are one and the same to your bodymind.
Final tip is you must be consistent with your affirmation practise. By using daily affirmations with visualisation and a real belief in self and done consistently sooner or later without you even realising it, but others will see it for sure, you’ll have more pride and power and love to give than you thought you ever had inside of you.
I’ll leave you with this thought. Here’s another quote from the Matrix where Morpheus says to Neo:
“You have to let it all go… Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind.”
What are you freeing your mind from? You’re freeing your mind, yourself from limited beliefs, from the chains of old habits, old thoughts, old feelings, and old ways of being. Freeing your mind opens you up to new possibilities, new habits, new thoughts, new feelings, and new ways of being.
Free your mind and believe in what you already have right now and let that innate force of awesomeness that lives within you to flow freely and express itself.
From the day you come into this world, to this very moment as you listen to this, and to the day you leave this world you have everything you need to live an awesome happy and healthy life. You just need to begin to believe.
Here’s to the ultimate freedom – freedom of your bodymind.
Links and Resources
- Kung Fu Panda on IMDB
- Wizard of Oz on IMDB
- Star Wars: A New Hope on IMDB
- The Matrix on IMDB
- Think and Grow Rich — Napolean Hill
- Affirmation/Chant Video by Paul Chek
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In this podcast I’ll be exploring how to Heal Broken Relationships:
- I’ll explain the major reason relationships fall apart
- I’ll talk about why people relate so poorly to themselves and to one another
- I’ll explain how 3 words can heal any relationship
- Finally, I’ll give an exercise on how to use these 3 words to heal broken relationships in your life
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Relationships are part of being alive. If you’re not relating you’re not living.
Technically the first relationship you’re in is with your own bodymind. Your bodymind is made up of trillions of cells living in harmony with each other. This massive community of cells are in constant communication with one another and build and maintain healthy relationships with each other. From the day you’re conceived into this world to the day you will leave this world you are in constant communication with your bodymind and must build and maintain this relationship throughout your lifetime. The healthier your relationship to your bodymind the healthier your bodymind ends up being.
Of course today the world is full of people with sick and diseased bodyminds meaning as a collective culture and society and species we are not doing a very good job of maintaining and looking after the most important relationship we have, which is with our own selves.
The main reason for such a high rate of disease in western society today is people do not listen and communicate well with their bodymind. When you have a symptom this is your body talking to you, telling you ‘hey you’re doing something that I’m not liking, please stop right now’. But you don’t. Who does? None of us are taught in school how to be in tune with the wants and needs of our bodies and our mind so we end up playing ignorant fools to our body’s messages.
I know when I was dealing with my chronic health issues I was totally ignoring the signs and body language that my bodymind was trying so hard to communicate to me. Why was I ignoring it? Because at the time I really enjoyed my lifestyle. I loved fast food, I enjoyed not having to go to the gym like everyone else was doing, and my job wasn’t killing me either or so I thought. Of course now looking back I can see how my body was rejecting the food, the lack of movement, and the dissatisfaction in my job by giving me skin issues, digestive issues, and depression.
The same reason goes for personal relationships. Your relationship to your family, friends, neighbours and perfect strangers it all comes down to effective communication. If you have good communication with other people you’ll have good relationships with those people. On the flipside if you have bad listening skills and cannot effectively share your intentions with other people you’ll find it very difficult to relate and connect to them on a meaningful level.
So why do people plead ignorance and just not want to listen to their bodyminds or to anyone else? Why is effective communication so difficult to build and maintain? It comes down to wanting to be right or not wanting to be wrong.
We all know the feeling of being right, but we also know the feeling of being wrong or at least to be found out to be wrong. One makes you feel great joy and pride, while the other makes you want to jump off a cliff or hide.
The idea that being wrong is bad comes from human evolutionary history. When your ancestors heard a sound in a bush they had to decide whether that noise was a potential threat, a predator and to run away or was it just the wind and they could continue on their way. Get this wrong and your ancestors would have a very bad day. Get it right and nothing much happens really except knowing you made the right choice and you got to live another day.
This idea that being wrong is bad is reinforced during your upbringing and it is during this time that the idea that being right is good was introduced into your psyche. I remember growing up at home and in school being rewarded for doing things right as they were expected to be done. I also remember being punished at home for not doing things right and being made fun of at school for getting things wrong and not knowing the answers.
This is when things start to go a bit screwy and mess up your innocent young mind. You begin to confuse what you’ve done with who you are. If you make a mistake you are a mistake. If you do wrong then you are bad. If you make something awesome you are awesome. If you do right then you are good.
So when you are given a symptom by your bodymind, a sign like your skin breaking out in pimples or not having enough energy to get out of bed, or when you are confronted by someone else’s ideas and views on life that are very different to yours, your first gut instinct is to deny everything. By denying the reality of what’s happening right in front of you (and there’s a reason for calling it right in front of you and not wrong in front of you) by denying reality you reduce the risk of being wrong and being made to feel bad and so you instead choose to live in blissful ignorance. Because if you were to give in to what’s actually right in front of you it would mean having to admit that what you know or believe in or did may be wrong and you would make that mean that you are wrong.
But, and this is a big but, being wrong or right doesn’t mean anything, really. If you make a mistake or create something awesome, so what? Your actions are not you. They extend from you, but are not you. You are more than something you do or have done in any one moment. Being wrong does not mean you are wrong and same goes for being right. So the best sure-fire way to improve and better your communication skills is to change your mindset where you believe being wrong means you are wrong.
There are 3 words you can say to yourself, to your bodymind, and to others that will stop you wanting to be right all the time for fear of being wrong making you a more effective communicator. No it’s not I love you or even I am sorry. The 3 words I am talking about actually say both of these as well. Those 3 words.
“I was wrong.”
That’s it. I was wrong. This short statement does three things besides saying I love you and I am sorry.
First it immediately puts the other person at ease. When you say the words I was wrong you are essentially saying you were right to the other person. Being told you are right is like celebrating all festivals and holidays in a single moment. It feels like the best piece of high quality dark chocolate or homemade apple pie you’ve ever tasted. So give someone the gift of chocolate and pie today by telling them you were wrong.
Second thing saying you are wrong does is it makes you aware of something you were previously ignorant to. You now have the knowledge and the potential power to make change happen in your life. We make mistakes in order to learn and grow. In fact to learn something means to fail at something as the whole learning process involves ups and downs and it’s only through practise and repetition that you will have more ups than downs, but the downs are always going to be there. Remember you can only rise after you have fallen, but you must be courageous enough to take that fall. Think of it this way, when you are wrong you are learning.
Eckhart Tolle the author of The Power of Now, a really awesome book on keeping you in the present moment, he states:
“It is through the mistakes that the greatest learning happens on an inner level.”
Meaning failure creates deeper more meaningful success later on.
Speaking of the power of now the last thing I wanted to talk about that happens when you say the words I was wrong is it removes the fear of being wrong because you’ve just said you are wrong obviously. As soon as you say those 3 words you shift from being afraid to look wrong in the eyes of others including yourself, to being accepting of whom you are in the moment and this knowing of self in the here and now gives you strength to be more open and honest with your communication. Saying I was wrong shows vulnerability and being vulnerable is very empowering. When you share something personal and intimate and that’s actually quite difficult to share it’s like having a huge weight lifted off your shoulders and you feel lighter and a lot more at ease to just talk and speak your truth.
Relationships require effective communication and need to be built on a foundation of openness and honesty. By saying I was wrong to your bodymind, to yourself, and to other people you remove the fear of being wrong and the need to be right and you create stability in your relationships. In order to maintain the relationship you will have to face your fear of being wrong over and over again and keep in mind that what you’re actually doing is following the learning process. Every time you admit you are wrong you give rise to the chance of being right.
Alright I’m going to leave you with a task. Your mission if you choose to accept it is to think of one rocky relationship whether it is with yourself, your bodymind, or someone else and to think how you have been wrong in this relationship. Then to say to the other person or your body those 3 difficult words, I was wrong, and then explain to them how you have been wrong.
There might be an apology in there, I am sorry, and there might be a connection there, I love you. But it all begins with I was wrong.
Let me give you a few personal examples of what this might look like. Time for me to get vulnerable here.
My relationship with my bodymind. Growing up I’m thinking I can eat pasta, pastries, and pizza without any consequences. It sure tastes good and feels good eating those things in the moment. But I had to admit to my bodymind I was wrong. After years of ignorance and not wanting to take responsibility I finally took control of my own health and discovered I was gluten-sensitive. So I went gluten-free and my bodymind rewarded me by no longer giving me an upset stomach, by giving me smooth glowing skin, and by giving me a genuine smile on my face instead of me having to force a fake one.
Another relationship, this time the relationship with my self. For many many many years I thought that my life revolved around the good opinion of other people and that I didn’t deserve a say in it. But boy I was so bloody wrong it’s not funny. As part of this exercise I would look in the mirror and say to my self, self I was wrong to let other people control my life. And after many moons of personal development work and discovering and learning who I really am and why I’m here I now realise that my life revolves around the most important person in the world, me. Me me me. Always has and always will. Sounds selfish right? I know. But now that I know who I am all I want to do is help others find who they really are too. So this selfishness, this sacred selfishness, this looking after myself now drives me to want to serve others and look after others as well.
Okay last relationship I’ll talk about is the relationship with me mother. Growing up I used to think that my mum actually didn’t love me or my brother and sisters and that she was really just a controlling, mean women who had us kids just to be slave workers and to clean up after her and no matter how good a job we did it was never good enough for her. Well I was wrong. Mum I was wrong to think that you the source of my being and existence didn’t love me or my siblings and I was wrong to think that you were a bad parent. Sure you may not have raised us as we would have liked, but you did the best you could with the knowledge and resources that you had at that time and I just want to show my gratitude and appreciation for the awesome parenting job you did and still do. Even now you’re still telling me to put an extra jacket on when the weather’s cold. I know now that everything you say and do for me and my siblings it always comes from a place of love. Well mum I love you too and yes I will put a jacket on, when it’s actually cold.
So a few personal examples there that I hope will help you on your relationship healing mission.
I’ll leave you with this thought.
“You are never on the wrong path, you are simply on the long path to learning, to growing, and to having happy and healthy relationships.”
Before we can all be right we must all admit that we are so very very wrong.
Links and Resources
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In this podcast I’ll be exploring Greed:
- I’ll explain how greed can be a good thing
- I’ll talk about where this wanting and grasping and craving for more comes from
- I’ll explain the link between greed and unhealthy attachments
- I’ll talk about how greed creates dissatisfaction through expectation
- Finally, I’ll share a few strategies on how to manage yourself when it comes to greed and your desires
CLICK HERE TO LEARN WHAT ARE THE BEST FOODS TO GET YOU LEAN
Greed is defined as an intense or excessive desire for more.
Looking at greed from an evolutionary lens, our ancestors lived in times of both abundance and scarcity and greed comes in very handy in those scarce moments. When traditional cultures did not have enough food put aside for the winter or had their villages wiped out by natural disasters or disease these are times when you need to have a very intense desire to survive as your life depends on it.
Coming back to today to modern times where if you’re fortunate enough to be listening to this podcast I have to say, you are pretty set when it comes to getting your basic needs met. We live in a world that’s very abundant in many respects with more than enough food being produced to feed the planet, but food wastage means people still starve. We live in a world with more than enough clothes to cover every single man, woman, and child a thousand times over, but still people die due to extreme weather conditions and thermal stress. We live in a world with so much advanced technology that this could shift the human race into a new age of peace and love, but old wars still rage on with weapons of mass and mini destruction being the technology of choice.
So the problem isn’t really greed itself, but the greed mindset in abundant conditions.
Now if the world we live in today has more than enough for us to survive why the excessive intense desire, the need, the want, the grasping, the craving for more? One reason is you have been programmed by news media, marketing, food companies, drug companies, sports, fashion, military, and every other industrial complex out there to desire more. Every day you see advertisements telling you that you’re not good enough or that you haven’t made it in life until you buy x, eat y, wear z, and smell like p, the letter that is.
Another reason for excessive wanting and desires is your upbringing. Your parents and family would have installed into your under seven year-old subconscious mind as you were growing up that no matter what you do, you must do more; no matter what you have, you must have more; and no matter how you’re being you must be more! Now they didn’t do this on purpose because hey their parents did the exact same thing to them.
So this is where greed in an abundant world comes from – external sources. This is why despite having more today than anyone 10,000 years ago ever had, you have this insatiable appetite to want more to crave what it is you don’t have yet grasp at because you feel like you’re missing out on something. This greed mindset comes from outside of you.
Having an intense desire for more can lead you down a path to unhealthy attachments. Attachment itself isn’t a bad thing. A loving bond is absolutely necessary between family members, friends, and communities to keep everyone moving forward in the direction that lifts everybody up. Unhealthy attachments, however, are not bonds of love, but bonds of fear.
When you lust after and want great ideas, people, places, and things you can begin to confuse yourself with that which you desire. For example you could be greedy for money and say to yourself that unless you earn a certain amount or have a certain amount of cash in the bank you are not successful. So you grow this unhealthy attachment with an idea of success equalling having lots of money and therefore you think that without money you are nothing. Another example maybe you want to be with a particular person say a celebrity and you daydream about them and begin stalking them on Facebook and Instagram. Then one day you wake up and realise you know more about that person than you actually know yourself and you’re practically living life through them instead of in your own body and space.
This unhealthy form of attachment comes from a place of fear where we as living creatures grasp security every chance we can get. So whenever you feel insecure within your own skin or unsure about your own thoughts and feelings you may find yourself not wanting to go inside to face this doubt and instead may look externally for that safety and security. You will seek out ideas that make you feel good, people that make you feel safe, places and things that make you feel secure and you will attach yourself so strongly to them that your entire existence depends on them more than anything else.
This craving for security can lead to attachments that cause you to live outside more than inside of yourself creating disharmony in your bodymind leaving you with an unhealthy and unhappy life.
Greed, wanting and grasping and craving, leads to many expectations. Expectations of how your life should be, of how you should be, and of how other people should be. Notice a lot of shouldas there. Living a shoulda life is a surefire recipe for a dissatisfied life. How?
If you really think about it the only times where you’ve felt upset or letdown were when expectations you had about a situation or person were not met. Every single time you expect your well prepared plan A to happen, but instead plan B happens out of nowhere you get frustrated and then when plan B seems to show up more frequently than your precious plan A your frustration turns to anger and possibly rage or maybe even tears. Whenever you experience an outcome that is not what you wanted or were hoping for of course you’re going to be dissatisfied.
“Unfulfilled expectations are the prerequisite to suffering.”
Does this mean that to live a life without suffering you must live a life without expectations and greed? No and I’ll share a few tips now on how to manage yourself when it comes to greed, to wanting, to unhealthy attachments, and expectations.
Most important tip to managing yourself and your intense desires is to switch off from media, marketing, advertising, and any other bad influence that brainwash you into thinking you live in a world of scarcity and that you’re not good enough so you must buy what they’re selling before you’ll ever succeed in life. All of this stuff creates FOMO in your mind where you begin to Fear On Missing Out on what other people are doing because of the so-called importance that is placed upon them through hype and propaganda. By moving away from this hype you will lessen your FOMO and your need for greed.
Bonus tip: switch off the news as well and not only will you shield yourself from the advertising hype, but you’ll also decrease your stress levels from the negative news improving your overall health.
Another way to not lose yourself to wants and desires and lose yourself to unhealthy attachments is to practice mindfulness, awareness, and being present in the moment. ‘Be in the now man’ is hippy talk for wake up to what’s happening in you and around you right now in this moment. Many people live in the past reliving their regrets or in the future worrying about possible failures. This way of thinking creates doubt of your own worthiness and personal abilities to live a successful and happy life so you begin to look to find your worth in another person or in other material objects. You look outside instead of inside.
By being here and now you learn what it is you need in this moment and stop thinking about what you needed years ago when you fumbled that catch at school or what you need in 2 weeks to pay the rent. When you can bring yourself to what’s happening right here, right now you will find your desires grow less intense and see that what you really need could be as simple as a glass of water, a deep breath, a talk, a walk, or even a hug.
A couple ways to practise mindfulness is meditation of any type and body scanning. I’ve talked about meditation many many times before so I’ll talk a little bit about body scanning. Body scanning is not getting a CT scan or x-ray at the hospital or doctor’s office, but a mindfulness practise where you start from of your head or your feet and work your way down or up your body focusing on each body part as you go through the practise. You notice aches, temperature, and other sensations in one area of your body before moving to the next. This is a great way to centre or ground yourself to how you, your body, your mind, everything about you is experiencing life in that moment. I’ll put a link to a YouTube video in the blog post for this episode showing how to perform this body scan practise.
When it comes to letting go of expectations, um, actually don’t. Zig Ziglar a personal development coach and speaker has a quote that goes:
“Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.”
Meaning you shouldn’t remove expectations, but be flexible when things don’t go your way. Instead of stewing in misery think to yourself, what’s the lesson here and what new expectations can I create from this experience? Another way to say it would be to expect to fall in life and then expect that you will get back up.
Such is the story of all life no? A constant cycle of ups and downs, life and death, new and old. If you can see the world as an impermanent place where nothing is fixed, set, or stagnant, but more like water that’s always in flow and if you can see that the future is impossible to see and predict then you may just be able to let go of suffering by moving with the flow of the world when your expectations are not met and you may just learn something about yourself along the way.
Another quote this time by superstar martial artist Bruce Lee:
“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
Do not take on other people’s baggage. You got enough personal baggage to last many life times as it is.
I’ll leave you with this thought.
Imagine putting your hand in a river to get some water and you grasp tightly. You end up making a fist which comes up empty handed. Now if you were to release your grip and open your hand more you’d be able to carry a lot more water. Grasping on to desires too tightly stops you from getting what you want. Be mindful, open yourself up to letting go of attachments, be flexible with your expectations, and use greed to inspire and move you toward your dreams – suffering being optional.
Links and Resources
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In this podcast I’ll be exploring Knowledge:
- I’ll explain why having knowledge is not as empowering as you might think
- I’ll talk about two types of knowledge that are truly empowering
- Finally I’ll share how to best apply accumulated knowledge giving you phenomenal powers to live an awesome life
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Today a lot of the human experience is all about watching TV, YouTube videos, and sharing information through social media websites. Which is great! I mean it’s awesome that we can learn so many new things about so many different topics and connect to so many different people through the power of the Internet.
But, how much of this knowledge and of these online relationships are actually relevant to your life and how much of that relevant information have you actually applied and done yourself? Think about what you’ve learned in just the past 7 days. How much of that information was relevant to you and how much of it have you tried for yourself? Probably not a whole lot… and that goes for me too.
The old saying ‘knowledge is power’ doesn’t hold true. Because what you know could have absolutely no use for you in your current life situation and more importantly even though you know a lot of stuff if you don’t apply that knowledge and get it out of your head and into the real world then there’s really no power in knowing that stuff.
“Knowledge that isn’t relevant and applied is weak.”
There are two types of knowledge that are relevant though and easy to implement in your life empowering you to become a better version of yourself.
First knowledge type is a knowing. Knowing is all about self-knowledge. It’s about an innate, instinctual, intuitive know-ing that you feel emotionally deep down to your core and because it comes from within rather than without this knowing is all about you. With this type of knowledge you will know what you want and don’t want, what you like and don’t like, who you want to hang out with or not, what career or job you’d like to have, what foods work for you and don’t work for you.
There’s a musical lyric ‘to know you is to love you’ and what I’m saying here is:
“To know thyself, is to love thyself.”
With a knowing you will better understand what it is you love and what it is you don’t love. This helps guide you to filter out the crap information and to choose better info to download into your bodymind. By knowing what’s worth learning and what isn’t you ensure that what you do know is relevant to you and your life.
The second knowledge type is about being knowledgeable. Being knowledge-able. Where you are able to put your knowledge into being. Meaning applying the knowledge you’ve learned and taking action on that knowledge. So turning a learned thought and idea (which is external energy downloaded from the universe) and integrating this with your knowing of self (which is internally sourced energy from within your own bodymind) and making it a reality in the physical world (which is a combination of both external and internal energies). So being knowledgeable is all about taking action on what you’ve learned to create a new experience for yourself and others.
You could read, watch, and listen for an eternity about how to drive a car, ride a bike, or swim, but you still wouldn’t be able to do any of it until you actually get into a car, on a bike, or in the water and apply what you’ve learnt.
It’s only when you apply knowledge by being in action, by being knowledgeable and using your knowing of self that you actually get to experience life and find out your own truth about something you’ve read, seen, or heard about. So knowledge isn’t power, but potential power and applied knowledge is truly where you have the power.
As I said before in order to make sure you’re accumulating relevant knowledge you must have a knowing of your self and one of the best ways of doing this is through meditation. There’s nothing like focusing your mind on one thing for 20 minutes to 2 hours to get you intimately connected to who you really are on the inside because your mind wants to do everything else but focus so you’re constantly having to bring yourself to centre. But along the way you get insights as to what thoughts are clogging up your body and using up a lot of your thinking energy. It’s these thoughts you want to come back to after meditation to figure out why they kept coming up during your meditation practise.
The one tip I have for putting a lot of your accumulated knowledge into action is to be mindful during the learning process or in other words pay real attention while you’re learning. What I mean is when you’re not completely focused on what you’re learning or on what’s happening right in front of you then you only pickup fragments and get a partial download of what you see and hear into your consciousness.
You see there’s a difference between seeing and watching, hearing and listening, trying and doing.
For example, you could see someone cook scrambled eggs a million times, but unless you actually focus and look for the details and watch you won’t be getting the full download of what they’re doing. You could hear them talking about temperatures and egg yolks and timings, but unless you actually focus and clear the chatter in your head and listen you won’t be getting the full download of what they’re actually saying. You could try in your mind and visualise the steps, but unless you actually get up of the couch and into the kitchen and do and act and cook you won’t be getting the full experience of cooking scrambled eggs.
But then of course even if you did cook a beautiful plate of scrambled eggs, what if you got gas or stomach cramps after eating them. This would be part of knowing, knowing your self and understanding that scrambled eggs are not relevant to you at this time and that this particular knowledge while it doesn’t serve you personally it may still help someone else.
So yes of course you want to be learning and growing and enhancing your skills throughout your lifetime, but you want to make sure the information you learn and download into your consciousness, into your bodymind fits you and your lifestyle and you most definitely have to make sure you take action on what you’ve learnt, because the power of knowledge is yours only when you’re able to put that knowledge into being.
Bonus tip, pick up the awesome book The First 20 Hours by Josh Kaufman. It teaches you how to learn anything easily and quickly. I read this and picked up tips on how to break down complex ideas, on how to save on my learning time, and how to keep moving forward by creating an optimal learning environment.
So remember to keep learning, to keep learning about yourself, and to keep moving forward by being in action.
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In this podcast I’ll be exploring Fear:
- I’ll explain what fear is
- I’ll talk about what limiting beliefs are and how they keep you from change
- I’ll talk about how expressing your authentic self helps you see fear in a new light
- Finally I’ll share an exercise you can practise to reframe your thoughts to help you deal with your fear
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Fear can be defined as an emotion driven by the thought of possible danger or the anticipation and expectation of pain and harm. Meaning fear is an emotion based on a thought you have about a future event.
Another way to see fear is that a lot of people believe hate to be the opposite of love, but hate like love is still an emotion that connects you to the object you have hatred toward. In my experience and what many other people have found is that fear is actually the opposite to love as fear has an energy vibration that drives you away and disconnects you from whatever it is that you’re afraid of.
Fear is an energy that you experience in the now present moment based on a future event, and it stops you from moving toward what it is you want.
One major driver of fear is a limiting belief. Now a limiting belief is a thought, an idea that you have downloaded from your upbringing that stops you and restrains you and prevents you from doing anything. This is the essence of fear.
For example you may want to play a sport or join a gym, but you have this belief that you are not coordinated or strong enough so you don’t sign up. You may want to become a fashion model, but you have this belief that you are not attractive, pretty, handsome, tall, thin, or beautiful enough so you don’t even bother looking at job ads for models. You may want to be a scientist, but have a this belief that you’re not smart enough or that people where you come from don’t normally become scientists and have other types of jobs and careers so you stop putting effort into your studies.
Or how about this example. You want to forget the past and start from scratch a relationship with a loved one that you had a fight with many years ago. You want to let go of the resentment that you’ve held toward that person for what they said or did to you or hope that they can forgive you for something you said or did. You want to reconnect with this person so badly it hurts. However, you have this belief, this thought, this idea that no matter what you say or do that person is never gonna’ change and never gonna’ want you back in their life anyway. They will shut you down, you will feel embarrassed and hurt, and you would just be wasting your time. So you don’t reach out to that person and continue to live in the shadow of regret and wondering ‘what if’, all the while missing out on the love that you could be receiving in that relationship.
A belief that holds you back from experiencing life is a limiting belief because it limits you from reaching and realising your full potential and experiencing life in all its fantastic awesome beauty.
A limiting belief is the face of fear and it will always be staring back at you for as long as you allow it. Fear keeps you from changing and you will never be able to change and develop and grow and evolve to reach your full potential if you live in fear.
One of humanity’s greatest fears is to follow one’s own dream. When you’re following your dreams and living the life you want to live and being the way you want to be this is when you shine at your brightest and show your true luminous being, your authentic self.
This fear to dream and act upon one’s dream and shine brightly was summed up brilliantly by spiritual teacher Marianne Williamson who says:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
Now you may be thinking how it is possible for someone to be scared of their own light energy and their own awesomeness.
Well how many times have you seen someone else shine and be and do and have awesome things only to see them be cut down by others because they are appearing to be too showy, big-headed, egotistical, and up themselves?
How many times have you personally been told to ‘watch it’ whenever you’ve found success, because it looks like you’re showing off or making others feel inadequate?
Every time you shine you are exposing the shadows of other people, but instead of those other people seeing your light as a motive for inspiration and change, they choose to see it as a threat, so they bring you down to their level and keep you from change.
With this limiting belief that any time you dare to dream you are told to get your head out of the clouds and to do as everyone else does is it any wonder why a lot of people give up their dreams, fail to shine and ride the mediocre train into ‘surviville’ to end up living a ‘just okay’ life like everybody else, instead of dreaming big, shining their light, living an awesome life, and thriving.
The thing is when you shine not only are you exposing the shadows of people around you, but you also see your own shadows, your own fears and it is only during the times that you do shine that you can face your shadows and fears full on.
When you look at your fear in the light you will see it very differently. Expressing your true self your luminous being you will no longer turn away from fear, you will face it head on and do whatever it is that needs to be done.
Fear isn’t something to remove or to forget about. It’s an emotion you must use to drive you, motivate you, inspire you to keep moving forward, through that fear to the other side where your dreams live. Of course this is all dependent on you being able to fully express yourself and to shine your light being without regret. Because you can only see your fears when you’re shining at your brightest.
So how exactly do you shine when you have all these limiting beliefs stopping you from doing so in the first place?
By doing the work – that’s Byron Katie’s ‘The Work’ that is.
Byron Katie is an author that writes about self-inquiry and seeing reality for what it really is. Bryon suffered from depression and one day woke up to reality and realised that when she believed her thoughts she suffered and when she didn’t believe her thoughts she no longer suffered.
Byron created a free online tool called The Work, which is a powerful process of self-inquiry. I’ll put a link to the work in the episode show notes, which you can find at wholeguidance.com/blog.
I highly recommend The Work as it makes you question your own thoughts and will help you realise that your limiting beliefs are only there because, well you believe them to be real. But as you go through The Work you will realise that these limiting beliefs are only as real as you think they are and by changing your thoughts about them you can change your entire life.
I no longer run from fear. I embrace it. That doesn’t mean I’m never afraid. It just means when I feel the fear… eventually I push through it.
By questioning your own beliefs you can use fear to move you toward your dreams instead of away from your dreams.
There’s a saying:
“The obstacle is the way.”
And fear is one of the greatest obstacles to humanity reaching enlightenment, but this also makes fear one of humanity’s final hopes to reaching enlightenment and living an awesome life.
I’ll finish with the full quote from Marianne Williamson that I introduced earlier because it’s such an empowering and non-limiting belief:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Make this year the year you overcome fear.
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In this podcast I’ll be exploring Emotions specifically Anger and Happiness:
- I’ll explain how emotions run your life
- I’ll talk about how anger is a necessary and healthy emotion
- I’ll talk about how the pursuit for happiness isn’t a healthy choice
- Finally I’ll share how to express healthy anger and to choose happiness to get the most pleasure from life
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Ah emotions. You can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.
Your thoughts (your ideas) they create your feelings (your emotions) and your feelings well they determine a heck of a lot. It is your feelings that determine your words (what you say); your deeds (what you do); and ultimately your results (what you get out of life).
Let’s take a look at how ideas and emotions in your bodymind really do lead to the results you get in your life.
Human thought begins with the perception of an internal or external stimulus. This thought then creates subtle energies. These subtle energies influence your physical, emotional, and mental ways of being by mobilising chemical messenger molecules throughout your bodymind. Examples of chemical messenger molecules include immune cells, hormones, and neurotransmitters. So once these molecules have energy and motion they travel to, are received, and used by your cells as instructions that drive both your verbal and physical actions.
These molecules of energy in motion or another way to say it would be these molecules of e-motion absolutely, 100%, no doubt about it determine the course of your life because what you say and what you do will always, always determine what you get out of life.
Now there are two main emotional forces that drive the human experience: pain and pleasure.
One emotion associated with pain is anger. The root cause for you to get angry is because you have a need that is not being met. But I’m not talking about basic needs like food or shelter. No I’m talking about deep-seated, inbuilt, animal, innate, primal, evolutionary-rooted physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. The ultimate human need is the need to connect and to share your self with others.
So when your need for connection and sharing is not being met many emotions can come up and anger is the emotion that people think and feel of when they wish to express externally to another person that they have this unmet need. As I talked about earlier this anger really is a collection of molecules of energy in motion. Anger is an emotion that has very hot, unstable energy attached to it so your words and deeds will also be hot and unstable when in an angry state resulting in a heated and rocky outcome to whomever you are expressing that anger toward.
When taken to the extreme anger turns into rage, which has even hotter less stable out-of-control energy associated with it.
Now when anger does not turn into out-of-controlled rage it can be a very beneficial and healthful emotion. In fact anger is one of the most powerful and impactful emotions as anger alone can cause you to change. Your fits, your bouts, your outbursts of anger are all opportunities for change. To change what? To change anything you want.
Whether your anger causes a change in you, in someone else, in your environment, or a global change it doesn’t matter as change of any kind is what life is all about.
Many inventions, services, businesses, restaurants, and even airlines were created because one person got given a crappy deal, got angry, and then got even… an even better idea that is. For example successful businessman Richard Branson he was left stranded at an airport and instead of moping around complaining, getting worked up into a rage and eventually doing nothing about it, he got over his anger and frustration and asked other stranded passengers if they’d like to charter a plane with him and thus the seed for Virgin airlines was sown.
Unfortunately many people use anger purely as a release valve and nothing else and there’s nothing wrong with releasing pent up energy, but if you don’t do something after that release you miss out on the main benefit of getting angry, the benefit of change.
Anger can be a healthy emotion with the potential for unlimited benefits because who knows where change can take you.
Happiness on the other hand is an emotion associated with pleasure. You usually feel happy when you get what you want and need and when personal expectations are met. I say usually feel happy because even when your needs are met you may still find yourself to not be in a happy place as I’ll explain shortly.
The emotion of happiness has an energy signature that is adaptable and stable. Happiness can warm you when you’re feeling cold and can cool you when you’re feeling the heat. Happiness can help ground you to the present moment and keep you centred, even when you think that everything around you is falling to pieces.
The issue with happiness lies in its pursuit.
The pursuit of happiness is an endless everlasting game that you can never win. When you’re told by others such as your parents, well-meaning family and friends, and the media that in order for you to be happy you must act a certain way, own a certain product, buy a certain perfume, wear a certain brand of clothing, follow a certain political party and you end up getting what you thought you always wanted you find yourself still very unhappy indeed. So you begin to pursue the next false idol of desire, get it, and still find yourself unhappy and this perpetual persistent pursuit for happiness goes on and on for as long as you play it.
Even if you were to pursue your own goals you will find that at the end of that rainbow there is no real pot of gold. Think of all the personal goals you’ve set and achieved and ask yourself after the fact right now in this moment long after you accomplished what you set out to do, are you happy? Are you happy because you fulfilled your dreams and goals or are you happy for another reason?
I used to always wait for something to happen in my life before I would allow myself to be happy such as earn a certain amount of money or lift a certain amount of weight or to see a certain number on the scale before I would say to myself I was happy and I was finally successful. Now, however, not only am I extremely happy and satisfied once I’ve achieved a goal, but I’m also happy during the goal seeking process. For example, I’m happy and satisfied after eating a delicious, nutritious, and tasty dish, but I’m also happy while shopping for, preparing for, and cooking the actual meal.
What I’m saying is that in my experience being happy isn’t something that you can get out there externally. Happiness can only be found in one place, internally, inside of you. No matter how much pursuing you do to be happy, no matter how much money you make, no matter what you own or how many material objects or awards you accumulate you will never find happiness in any one of these actions specifically. In order to express the energies of adaptability and stability, in order to express true happiness you must choose to do so in any one moment.
In other words happiness doesn’t have to be a destination, but can also be the journey itself and the only thing stopping you from being happy is you.
“In order to be happy, you must choose happy.”
It doesn’t matter who you’re with, what you’re doing, where you’re going, or how you’re feeling, I believe that happiness really is a personal choice and it’s a choice that you can make in any moment.
I’m not saying it’s an easy choice to make. For some people choosing happiness will be such a foreign concept that to make such a choice may look impossible. For other people like the Dalai Lama for example choosing happiness comes as second nature. For me personally I am constantly having to remind myself daily to stop waiting for happiness to come to me and to let happiness come from me.
It’s a simple idea seeing happiness as a choice, but boy is it a bloody difficult choice to understand.
Alright so now I’ll talk about how to express healthy anger and how to make it easier to choose happiness.
Firstly, when it comes to healthy expressions of anger you must give yourself permission to express that anger. Do not hold anger or any other emotion for that matter inside your bodymind.
Remember emotions are actual chemical messenger molecules or molecules of energy in motion and when you experience an emotion and a feeling these molecules of energy are mobilised throughout your entire body. When you express that internal feeling and emotion by sharing it externally those molecules get used up by your cells and the energy releases from your body into the environment.
However, if left to linger inside your body these molecules and energy will build up and accumulate in certain areas of your body depending on your genetics and upbringing. If you chronically and consistently hold back from expressing your emotions this bundle of molecules and energy in your body will eventually create a disease and the most common disease associated with pent-up suppressed emotions is cancer.
Secondly:
“Get mad, then get over it.”
Is a quote by American statesman Colin Powell and it’s a quote that you must keep in mind when it comes to healthy expressions of anger.
Back in the day when I was dealing with depression I was also dealing with anger issues (actually I still am). Whereas back then I would attach to my anger as if my life depended on it and it would grow into full-blown rage and I would totally forget what it was that I was angry about in the first place, now I am able to let go of that anger once I’ve allowed myself the chance to fully express it. Plus I’m fully aware of how I am being and what I’m saying during the outburst of anger, which is pretty weird. It’s like I can see how much of an egg I’m being and all I can do is be a witness to my outburst. This is a good thing though because it helps me remember what I got angry about and makes it easier for me to change what it is I want to change so I won’t be triggered as easily the next time I might get angry.
So do not attach to anger and let it develop into full-blown rage. Stay in control of your aggression by fully expressing it and do not confuse yourself with those molecules of energy in motion. You are expressing anger, you are not anger itself.
Healthy anger is anger that is expressed, let go of, and learnt from.
With regards to happiness there’s a brilliant quote by James Openheim that says:
“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.”
As I said before happiness isn’t necessarily the destination, but also the journey itself and the journey is always where you are in the present moment. Happiness isn’t something to pursue, but something you choose to express while in pursuit of your dream. Yes achieving your dream will definitely be a cause for celebration and joy, but you’re allowed to be happy as you make your way toward reaching your dream.
“Happiness is found in the being, not in the having and the doing.”
So in this present moment and any other moment you wish, you have the power to choose to be happy. The choice for happiness is and will always be yours.
So how exactly do you practise letting go of anger and choosing happiness in any one moment… by practising mindfulness.
How many people today are on autopilot waking up to go to school or work, coming home, going to sleep, and then repeating this all over again without being fully present and aware that there were a thousand other events and experiences they had that day.
Life and the human experience is exciting, exhilarating and extremely complex and full of ups and downs and twists and turns, but too much of modern society today is all about numbing the human experience and reducing it down to the most basic of tasks and needs making life appear to be such a boring experience.
Mindfulness practise improves your awareness of how you’re being, how you’re feeling, and what you’re doing in the now the present moment. Mindfulness keeps you in touch with what’s happening internally in your body and what’s happening externally in your environment. When you live your life with a heightened level of awareness you will find that life is so much more than work and sleep.
By practising mindfulness on a daily basis you enhance your ability to express anger and then let it go. You are also able to learn from that expressed anger what changes you need to make to reduce your chances of getting angry in the future and to learn what changes you see are necessary in order to reduce what may upset other people as well.
By practising mindfulness regularly you will come to see that happiness isn’t a reward, an object, or an end date, but it’s an energy that you have inside of you and you can choose to express that energy of happiness anytime you want. Mindfulness gives you full awareness of our ups and downs and during those times that you’re feeling down you will begin to notice, like an observer outside of your body, that you’re actually feeling down in the dumps and this awareness helps you to choose to continue to live in the sadness (and that’s perfectly fine) or to let it go and to choose happiness instead.
The best way to practise mindfulness is to take time out from your day and to just sit with your thoughts. That’s right I’m talking about meditation.
Meditation isn’t about achieving some divine connection with the universe (although that can be a nice bonus if you can receive such a gift). Meditation is about keeping your mind focused on one thing and one thing only and anytime your thoughts start to wonder, stray, and go walkabout you bring yourself back to centre which is your original thought that you were focusing on.
Meditation comes in all forms and sizes:
- Sitting
- Standing
- Walking
- Gardening
- Paddle boarding
- Dancing
- Sports
Whatever experience you can have that will keep you focused on one thing and crowd out all other thoughts you can make into a meditative and mindfulness practise.
The key words here are regular, daily, consistent, and practise.
Meditation and mindfulness they’re like everything else in life. You don’t just take one breath, or sleep for one night, or eat just one meal, you must breathe, sleep, and eat consistently in order to live and learning to enhance and improve your levels of awareness takes time, takes effort, and it’s an ongoing practise.
There’s a brilliant book by Daniel Goleman called Emotional Intelligence that gives great insight into how your emotions influence your life and how they influence your intelligence.
There’s a saying:
“When emotions are high, intelligence is low.”
Meaning your levels of emotion determine your levels of intelligence, which brings us back to my original statement about how emotions run your life.
Don’t be scared to get angry. Use that anger to learn and grow and change to improve your life and other people’s lives.
Don’t be thinking that happiness is some tangible external object that you must get. With practise you can choose happiness whenever you feel you need it.
By learning from anger and choosing happiness sooner rather than later you can make yourself a very smart and intelligent human being indeed.
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In this podcast I’ll be exploring Materialism and Spiritualism:
- I’ll explain what materialism and spiritualism really mean
- I’ll talk about the dark and the light sides of each one
- Finally, I’ll share how you can best balance the material world with a spiritual life
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Depending on the definition used you could think materialism and spiritualism are two sides of the same coin or are totally unrelated.
The following set of definitions show how these two belief systems are actually connected.
Materialism is the belief that nothing exists except for physical matter.
Spiritualism is the belief that spirit is the fundamental element of all reality.
What we have here are total opposites and yet this is exactly what makes them totally connected. How?
In the podcast I did on the philosophy of Yin and Yang I explained how these two forces of the Universe are both opposing each other, but at the same time are interconnected to each other. The potential for Yin, the seed of Yin grows from inside Yang and vice versa. You cannot have one without the other.
For example day and night, hot and cold, fear and love, each of these are opposites of each other, but you could never know one without experiencing the other as it is from day that night comes, it is after heat cools that you feel cold, and it is after you’ve faced fear that love can be expressed… and vice versa for all of these.
Matter and spirit are different yes, but they come from within each other.
The physical world is made up of matter, right. The sun, the moon, the Earth, your body these are all material objects.
The spiritual world is made up of energy. The sun’s radiation, the moons gravitational pull, the Earth’s electromagnetic field, your body’s aura and light signature these are all spiritual elements or units of energy.
So here you have physical objects radiating, emanating, and producing energy. But, not only do physical objects produce energy, but physical matter itself is made up of and moved by energy.
If you had a powerful physics microscope and looked at your hand under the smallest zoom setting you would see the peaks and valleys of your skin. Increase the zoom a little and you’d see the individual cells that make up these peaks and valleys. Zoom in further and you’d see the organelles, the little organs inside one of these cells. Zoom in again and you’d see the molecules making up the parts of the cell and organelles. Zoom in even further and you’d see the individual atoms making up these molecules. Zoom in once again and you begin to see protons, neutrons, and electrons the building blocks of atoms. What, more zooming? Yes and this time you’ll see the fundamental building blocks of the universe called quantum particles and forces some of which include quarks, leptons, electromagnetism, and gravity.
Now if you were to zoom in one last time on a quark or a lepton, guess what you’d see? Nothing! You would see absolutely empty space. However, this space isn’t actually empty as it’s full of pure energy and this energy is constantly vibrating, it’s twirling and swirling, it’s moving and grooving. It’s a little vortex of energy constantly in motion.
So ultimately your hand is made up of, held together, and animated by energy in motion.
So we had physical matter producing energy and now we see that energy makes and moves physical matter. Yin and Yang at it again.
Energy is pure potential and unlimited possibility and it’s only when this energy accumulates and concentrates to form matter that you see that possibility come to life. So without energy there would be no matter, but without matter you wouldn’t even realise, you wouldn’t know that energy even existed.
In other words:
“Spirit expresses itself as matter and matter is proof that spirit exists.”
You may want to meditate on the last line I just said there as it’s actually quite a deep philosophical insight that could help you explain certain unknowns and mysteries about the universe.
So that’s how matter and spirit are connected according to the first set of definitions I gave earlier. If you’d like to have personal real world experience interacting with matter and energy I highly recommend two books by Pam Grout, E-Squared and E-Cubed. These two books have 18 experiments that you can do in your own home to see for yourself how matter and energy or spirit work together to create your reality.
Anyhoo… with this second set of definitions I’m about to give materialistic and spiritualistic ways of being look totally unrelated.
Materialism is to place more worth and receive more comfort from physical objects and material possessions. So materialism is all about receiving wealth and admiration through material possession.
Spiritualism is being able to communicate with the spirits of dead people. So spiritualism is all about receiving guidance and connection through spiritual communication.
So yeah according to these two definitions materialism and spiritualism don’t really seem to relate to each other… or do they?
As I go through the dark and light sides of each of these definitions there actually is a connection between the two.
Okay so the dark side of being too materialistic is that a materialistic person sees only what is directly in front of them and believes that they need to accumulate more and more stuff because they have been told that the more you have then the more important and the more successful you are. So unfortunately for people that follow this materialistic belief system to the extreme their self worth and happiness is directly connected to how much they have in the bank, how big and how decorated their house is, how many cars they own, or whether they have the latest clothing or tech gear.
The dark side of being too spiritualistic is that a spiritualistic person does not always see what’s right in front them and they believe that the solution to their physical world problems can only be found in the invisible spirit world. Unfortunately for people that follow this spiritualistic belief system to the extreme their ability to overcome problems in life and real world issues is directly dependent upon their relationship and abilities to connect with the spirits of the dead.
So the negative to both of these isms is that a person who follows them to the absolute extreme is either fully connected to the material world or fully connected to the spiritual world, but totally disconnected from the real world which is made up of the interactions and the connections between matter and energy. That is to say that people at either extreme take more care of their physical possessions and spiritual relationships then they do human relationships with family and friends and other people around them.
The light side of materialism is that you do understand the realities of the world as it is right now. You realise that what’s happening right now in this moment is something that must be dealt with. You understand that by having the best tools for the job you will be able to do the work you are meant to be doing fulfilling your Dharma or life purpose creating a happy and healthy life for yourself and others.
The light side of spiritualism is that you know that there’s more to reality than what you’re told and are led to believe by others. You realise that the possession of matter really doesn’t matter in the big scheme of things and that you can live a happy and healthy existence without the latest and greatest gadgets and do just fine with a minimalist approach to life that works for you and the people you care about.
So both of these isms can be very grounding. Seeing what is right in front of you and living life with the minimal amount of possessions.
So how do you avoid the trap of falling into the extremes of materialism where accumulation of matter is most important and spiritualism where relationships with the dead are more important? How do you balance living in a material world made up of spiritual elements?
First thing to do is to stop listening to all the noise around you as if it’s stated fact and truth. Marketing hype is full of nonsensical noise. Marketing hype comes in two forms.
The first is from advertising. Once you spray on that deodorant thousands of men and women are not going to be chasing you in the streets. Buying that car won’t necessarily mean instant happiness. Wearing those new sports shoes won’t make you a professional athlete overnight. Eating foods labelled healthy will usually end up making you sick. Advertising doesn’t equal fact.
The second form of marketing hype comes from news media. News on television, newspapers, radio, and yes even the Internet are full of exaggeration, scare tactics, and hidden agendas. News is told for a specific reason to make you feel a certain way, usually to feel scared and fearful, sad and unhappy. In between the news they give you the answers to all the world’s problems and your own problems through advertising. Again advertising does not equal fact and news does not equal truth.
Now the biggest noise you will have to learn to stop taking as gospel, the biggest marketing hype you will hear is that coming from your own mind – your thoughts! You think on average 68,000 thoughts a day a majority of which are negative and are thoughts you had yesterday. Most of your thoughts are marketing hype from your parents, your family and friends, your workplace, your community, news media or advertising.
When was the last time you had an authentic personally created thought? A thought that didn’t come from your mum or dad, from your doctor, your priest, or your boss. When was the last time you thought for yourself?
Don’t believe the hype whether it comes from advertising, the news, or your own thoughts.
The best way to filter this noise and to find out what is accurate and truthful information that works for you is to live life in the space of a question and become a critical thinker. Question everything. Everything you hear, see, taste, touch, smell, and feel, question whether it’s real or not for you.
Dietary guidelines, health practises, marriage, drug addiction, human sexual behaviour, religion, modern agriculture, schools and education, career and employment opportunities – I would guess that about 95% of western civilised society takes all of these topics and belief systems at face value.
People who are raised in a western society rarely ever question where cultural ideas come from. How did the dietary guidelines come to be? Where did marriage come from? What does the research actually say about drug addiction? Can modern agriculture really feed the world? Does a child in today’s information knowledge-based economy really need to go to school and pay large institutions large amounts of money for their education?
Some personal questions you can ask yourself include:
- Is that low-fat meal bar really improving my health?
- Is broccoli really as disgusting as I remember it?
- Was my ex-girlfriend really a witch or my ex-boyfriend really a dirty ape?
- Are my children really too much to handle?
- Am I as fat or skinny, mean or kind, forgiving or harsh as I say I am?
- Are my parents really to blame for my current life situation?
- Do I love my life right now?
- Have I ever put 100% effort into being healthier?
- Is what other people say about me true?
When you become a critical thinker and begin to live life in the space of a question you start to see things as they are and not what you thought they were and this gives you more clarity on how you need to be in this moment and the next.
Today people know more about what’s going on on the other side of the planet than they do their own backyard. People know more about certain celebrities and professional athletes than they do the person they sleep with in the same bed every night!
So my final tip for focusing your energy in a world full of matter is to connect, relate, and emote with the people in your life.
Fully engage in an emotional connection with people you interact with day to day. This isn’t restricted to just family, friends, and flatmates. I’m also talking about the clerk at the local supermarket or laundromat or the bus driver who always drives you home after school or work. Do you know their name? How long they’ve worked there? Whether they’re local or drive two hours in to work from out of town as it was the only job they could find at the time? Do you know your partner’s favourite colour? Do you know how your parents met? Do you know your child’s biggest fear and greatest love right now?
Be with the people who are in your life right now.
The more you can question what you’re being told and what you’re thinking and the more you can fully relate with the people in your life then the less you will need to use material possessions and spiritual communication as substitutes for peace and love.
“Having the latest in technology will not make you the best of humanity.”
Being one with the Almighty regardless of your actions here on Earth disconnects you from the rest of humanity.
Ultimately the key to receiving wealth and admiration as well as connection and guidance is through healthy relationships with your fellow human. Not by relating with objects or with people who have already passed on, but by relating to family, friends, and local communities. This is how you balance living a spiritual life in a material world.
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In this podcast I’ll be exploring Choice:
- I’ll explain how your choices create your life and how your life creates your choices
- I’ll talk about the three choices you can make in any one moment
- I’ll describe how meditation can improve your choice selection
- Finally I’ll share what’s really behind the Power of Choice
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Life is made up of moments and in between these moments is a gap. This gap represents the space between your thoughts. It is in this space where you will find pure potential and endless possibility, for it is in this space where you have all the power in the universe – the power of choice.
Choice has power because the choices you make determine the moments you experience.
Your life and everything in it including who you are, what you have, how you think, feel, and act, the people you surround yourself with, the job you have, the money you have, the happiness and the love you have, your entire life is a result of the choices you have made.
However, only a very small amount of the choices you end up making come from this space of possibility.
The majority of your choices I’d say over 90% of them actually come from your past, from earlier life experience. For example you know you like chocolate ice cream (well I do anyway) over vanilla ice cream because you’ve tasted them already. You know you have an issue with heights because the last time you stood near the edge of a cliff or you were on a bridge you felt dizzy and almost fainted. You know not to make noise at 2pm in the afternoon while your mother is having a nap because the last time you did that she woke up in a very foul upset mood leading to an unexpected meeting between you and her shoe… ouch!
So while you have the power to choose whatever it is you want in your life in between moments, it is your previous life experience that will determine the majority of your current choices which will determine the way you think, feel, and act in the future. Altogether these will lead to the results you get in your life.
Thus we have the circle of choice where:
“Your choices make your life and your life makes your choices.”
I’ve learnt from Holistic Health Practitioner Paul Chek that in life you have three choices.
The first is the optimal choice. The optimal choice involves having open and honest communication with yourself and the important people in your life. This choice moves you toward your dreams and helps you achieve your goals. Not only does the optimal choice improve your happiness and health, but it also helps with growing the happiness and health of people in your life. The choice that unites and is open to joy is the optimal choice.
The second choice is the suboptimal choice. The suboptimal choice means getting what you want now, but at a cost. This choice gives you instant pleasure, but will eventually cause pain within yourself or with another person. The suboptimal choice disrupts and slows your dream building and happiness and health progression. The suboptimal choice also interferes with the growth and improvement of the people you care about. The choice that divides, that is closed and depressing is the suboptimal choice.
The third choice is the choice of no-choice or doing nothing. Doing nothing has both a negative and positive side.
The negative of doing nothing is having an apathetic attitude where you lack interest in participating in life and just don’t care. This uncaring attitude means you will do nothing when in reality you should be doing something. This apathy will cause you to become isolated by creating distance between you and what it is you really want (your dream) as well as creating distance between you and the people in your life. Not only that, but by not choosing you prevent and stop altogether any further progress or growth or evolution of yourself and others.
The positive of doing nothing is you may not be able to make a choice in this moment due to not having enough information. You can use this time out to reflect on your options and to gather more info to learn more about the situation. This time of reflection may not be an optimal or suboptimal choice, but there is potential here for you to make one of the other two choices.
So the first two choices are awesome choices. They help change your way of being. They move you from one thought, feeling, and action to another. The optimal choice does it by being in flow with your dream and your dream team. Remember your dream team is anyone who is involved in getting you from where you are now to where you want to be. With the suboptimal choice even though you experience pain this choice still creates a learning experience from which change can happen.
The third choice of do nothing on the other hand keeps you from growing and evolving. However, there is the potential for change when you take some time out to gather more information before making a well-informed choice.
In today’s society where you are expected to always be on point and available and to not take any breaks to stop and smell the roses your thoughts end up going a million miles a minute and you become disconnected from your true feelings in that moment. Not being able to just sit with your own thoughts and feelings can create distance between how you think you’re being in this moment and how you’re actually being in reality. Meaning you may think to yourself, ‘Yeah I’m happy and healthy. I’m feeling good’, but that work colleague who just said hi to you and who you completely ignored and the oversized clothes in your wardrobe say something completely different.
If you don’t know who you are and what you want in life is it any wonder then that when you’re presented with a choice you either end up picking the choice that doesn’t serve you or you find the available options difficult to understand and end up not doing anything at all.
Mediation is a great practise that you can use to help you make better choices. During meditation you focus on one thing and anytime your mind wonders to different thoughts you bring it back to that one thing. Every time you notice and realise that your thoughts have strayed from what you should be focusing on there is this gap between your thoughts and a space of opportunity to choose to bring your thoughts back to your original focal point or your centre.
Daily meditation practise does one of two things.
First it increases your ability to become aware and mindful of your thoughts and feelings connecting you to your true self and how you’re being in reality
Secondly, and an even bigger benefit to practising meditation I believe is that it forces you to pause, to slow down in order for you to sense what you never sensed before… which are the gaps between your thoughts, the space where you have the power to choose.
It’s during meditation that you train your awareness of self and where you learn more about who you are. It’s also during meditation that your ability to choose improves because you learn to live not just in your thoughts, but also you learn to live between your thoughts. By living in the gaps between your thoughts you get more comfortable with emptiness and space and nothingness and will come to realise that here in this space anything is possible.
Then when you’re outside of meditation during your normal everyday life that’s when you get to put into practise this better knowing of self and improved ability to slow everything right down and to see what’s possible.
The next time you’re presented with a choice or two no longer will you be frantically trying to analyse the options trying to decide which is the wrong or right choice, and no longer will you feel flustered and confused, because now in this moment where you must choose you will know yourself better, you will know what it is you really need in that moment because you will sense your true thoughts and feelings. This will allow you to select the choice that aligns with your dreams, your core values, and your dream team.
Meditation comes in many forms including sitting, movement (such as Tai Chi and Qi Gong), and walking meditation. Whatever meditation you practise focus on one thing. This one thing becomes your centre. For example during sitting meditation you can focus on your breath. During walking meditation you can focus on your steps. You can also focus on a single thought like a mantra or positive affirmation such as ‘I receive love from the world, I give love to the world’ that you repeat in your mind or out loud. Another thing you can focus on is sound such as ‘oooommmmm’ or ‘aaaahhhhh’. No matter the meditation and focal point anytime your mind starts to think about something else bring it back to that focal point. Bring it back to your centre.
The more you practise meditation the more you will know your true self and the more aware you will become of these gaps between your thoughts, giving you more chances to pause, making it easier to bring your thoughts back to centre, giving you better focus and clarity of thought, so that you can make better choices.
I will share a couple of quotes to help show what I believe to be the true power behind choice.
The first quote is from Henri Nouwen a Dutch priest and professor who says:
“We can be unhappy about many things, but joy can still be there… it is important to become aware that at every moment of our life, we have an opportunity to choose joy… It is in the choice that our true freedom lies, and that freedom is, in the final analysis, the freedom of love.”
And along these lines are a few lines from the 80s hit song from the Back To The Future movie soundtrack ‘The Power of Love’ by Huey Lewis and The News:
“The power of love is a curious thing
Make a one man weep, make another man sing”
What these passages are saying to me is that the power of choice lies in the freedom you have to choose love in each and every moment.
“In reality the power of choice is the power of love.”
To be loving, to have love to give, and to do loving things for yourself and others in each and every moment of your life. That’s the true power of choice.
Of course you don’t have to choose love, right? Because as always the choice is yours or as Captain Planet a 90s cartoon superhero would say:
“The power is yours!”
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Extreme Ownership – Jocko Willink, Leif Babin
(Buy from Amazon; Buy from The Book Depository)
The #1 New York Times bestseller
“An incredible book… you teach guys and gals about leadership and you’ve helped not only military guys but families.” – Megyn Kelly
“You show in the book how to motivate… thanks for writing the book Extreme Ownership.” Bill O’Reilly
“[Jocko] is the co-author of an incredible new book – which I’ve been loving. Trust me. Buy it.” – Tim Ferriss
“This is a life-learning lesson for everyone… the book is awesome.” – Sean Hannity
Sent to the most violent battlefield in Iraq, Jocko Willink and Leif Babin’s SEAL task unit faced a seemingly impossible mission: help U.S. forces secure Ramadi, a city deemed “all but lost.” In gripping firsthand accounts of heroism, tragic loss, and hard-won victories in SEAL Team Three’s Task Unit Bruiser, they learned that leadership―at every level―is the most important factor in whether a team succeeds or fails.Willink and Babin returned home from deployment and instituted SEAL leadership training that helped forge the next generation of SEAL leaders. After departing the SEAL Teams, they launched Echelon Front, a company that teaches these same leadership principles to businesses and organizations. From promising startups to Fortune 500 companies, Babin and Willink have helped scores of clients across a broad range of industries build their own high-performance teams and dominate their battlefields.
Now, detailing the mind-set and principles that enable SEAL units to accomplish the most difficult missions in combat, Extreme Ownership shows how to apply them to any team, family or organization. Each chapter focuses on a specific topic such as Cover and Move, Decentralized Command, and Leading Up the Chain, explaining what they are, why they are important, and how to implement them in any leadership environment.
A compelling narrative with powerful instruction and direct application, Extreme Ownership revolutionizes business management and challenges leaders everywhere to fulfill their ultimate purpose: lead and win.
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In this podcast I’ll be exploring the topic of Dream Building:
- I’ll explain why having a dream is necessary to living a happy and healthy life
- I’ll talk about personal core values and how they help you build your dream
- Finally, I’ll share some tips on how to build your own dream that will move you toward the life you’ve always wanted
CLICK HERE TO LEARN WHAT ARE THE BEST FOODS TO GET YOU LEAN
A lot of people today feel lost and live out their lives without really knowing what it is that makes them truly happy and what they really want from life.
What does this have to do with dream building?
Well dreams aren’t just what you experience during REM sleep. Dreams aren’t just visions and ideas created in your mind. Dreams aren’t just fantasies disconnecting you from reality. Dreams are much more.
Dreams act as your North Star a guiding light and give you direction in your life. Having a dream gives you purpose. It gives you the desire and the will to experience and live the life you want and to live it on your own terms.
Your dreams also make up your legacy where your legacy is your gift and your contribution to the world.
In order to live out your dream though you need to set goals.
Goals give you two things. Firstly goals give you an intention and provide you with a target to aim for. Secondly goals give you a means to reaching that target. So for example, if your dream was to be healthy and full of energy then one of your target goals could be to reduce excess fat and reduce your waistline by a certain amount before a set date. In the process of reaching that goal you would need to change up your diet and other aspects of your lifestyle. It is in this process of learning how to live a healthier lifestyle where you develop and grow as a person becoming someone different to who you were before.
So goals aren’t just something you achieve, but are also a means to learning a new way of being.
Without a dream your life becomes like a ship without a map and compass and without clearly defined goals that ship is without a captain on board. A ship that has set out to sea without direction and purpose will sail on endlessly going round and round in circles.
As the saying goes:
“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”
Having a dream gives you your GPS coordinates telling you exactly where you are now and where you want to go. Having clearly defined goals programs that GPS to give you the most effective route to achieve your dream.
Now I’m sure at one point in your life someone has told you to ‘stop daydreaming and pay attention’.
Now imagine if historical figures like Jesus Christ, Rosa Parks, William Shakespeare, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr, Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Leonardo Da Vinci, Kate Sheppard and Mary Ann Müller who have directly or indirectly changed the course of human history imagine if these people stopped dreaming and did exactly what everyone else was doing.
Martin Luther King Jr would not have been inspired to lead the African-American Civil Rights Movement and make his famous ‘I have a dream’ speech, but instead would have had to unhappily sit on the sidelines and settle for having to live out somebody else’s dream.
This is where your own personal core values come in.
Your personal core values are the needs you have when it comes to living an awesome life. They define how you want to live, they guide your choices, and they determine the type of person you want to be. Core values also influence the types of personal relationships you want to be in and also what communities and organisations you wish to join.
Basically core values help you choose when to say yes and when to say no.
Living in harmony with your values creates a very happy and well-balanced life free of major and chronic stress. However, if you don’t live your life according to your own set of core values then stress just begins to pile up and up and up and you’ll never achieve true happiness and health.
For example if you value health and vitality, but are eating fast food on a regular basis the image you have of yourself in your mind compared to what you see in the mirror may just shock you. Another example what if you value free quality education for all yet you work for a very expensive and exclusive private school with horrible teaching strategies. Working in a place that has a very different set of values to you will give you more stress then you bargained for giving you a lot more than a mere shock as time goes on.
Now if you aren’t willing to live your life and make choices that align with your core values then realise what you’re actually doing is choosing to live your life according to somebody else’s value system. To take control and responsibility of your own life means to live it in full alignment with your core values otherwise in reality it’s another person or organisation that is driving your ship wherever they want it to go.
Some categories of core values and basic needs you should be aware of include:
- Physical health
- Emotional health
- Mental health
- Spiritual health
- Financial needs
- Time needs
- Relationship needs
- Social needs
When it comes to building your dream you want to make sure that your core value system is in full alignment with your dream. If your values are opposite to your stated dream you will end up working against that dream so change your values to be more dream affirmative.
If your dream is to be healthy and full of energy then valuing eating whole foods over processed fake food-like products is in harmony with your dream. But if you end up eating fake food half the time then there’s a conflict between what you want for your dream and what you need in your life leading to stress and eventually unhappiness.
Okay so now that you know why you need a dream and a goal and to live life according to your core values and that these values need to be in harmony with your dream let’s get into how to build a dream worth living.
First up, find your dream. What is your dream?
You want to make your dream big enough to energise you and to move you. This energy in motion will give you the motivation and the inspiration to move forward in the face of challenges and obstacles that most definitely will come your way. You want a big enough why to inspire you to achieve what may look like the impossible. Realise though that impossible is simply another way to say I’m possible!
Your dream statement can’t be superficial. Something like wanting to lose weight or to look good naked or to be rich would be superficial. You can start here, but then ask yourself why do you want to lose weight? What will that give you? Maybe it will help you keep up with your children while playing or allow you to travel and walk the century old streets in Europe. Why do you want to look good naked? Is it to have more confidence and be a better lover to your partner? Maybe it’s so you can live a longer quality of life where you’ll be able to see your great grandkids one day and still be mobile and agile enough to pick them up. Why do you want to be rich? Is it so you can volunteer your services for free and help others who wouldn’t normally be able to afford them? Maybe being rich is a means for you to have more free time allowing you to support charities and other non-profit organisations.
In these cases you would reword the dream from wanting to lose weight or look good naked or to be rich to I want to be full of energy so that I can play with my kids without getting tired and out of breathe or I want to be healthy and fit so that I can travel to Europe and walk the ancient streets of Rome or I want to be able to give my full time and attention to supporting a particular charity.
So what is your dream? Is it to live in another location in a nice home surrounded by family? Is it to complete a half-marathon? Is it to climb Mt Everest? Is it to make vice president or to gain employment at a specific organisation? Is it to build a real foods delivery service? Is it to keep working in your current job to create enough financial security so that you can take time out for a whole year building your own business?
Write down your dream on a piece of paper.
If you’re finding it difficult to come up with a dream then think about what makes you come alive and are passionate about. Think about things that inspire and motivate you.
If you’re still struggling think about what you despise and hate or what’s causing you the most stress in your life in this moment. For example I hate the fact that food outlets even gourmet organic restaurants still use industrial seed oils like canola oil as their cooking fat of choice. So I could have the dream of becoming a real food advocate for getting natural animal and fruit fats into food outlets and getting seed oils out. Or I could have a dream of owning my own restaurant that served only real food without a single pretend fake food-like product in sight. Maybe you use public transport and hate the fact that the timetables and scheduling are out of sync with what people actually need. Your dream could be to create your own private transport service that provides more availability and flexibility. Perhaps your biggest stress right now is with your husband or wife and your dream is to renew your vows of marriage and to a have a loving and respectful physical and emotional relationship together.
Whatever your desire, pleasure or pain there’s a dream in there somewhere.
Next write down your personal core values. These relate to what it is you need to live your dream and to be happy. Write down at least five core values for the eight different categories I listed previously and feel free to add more categories such as career needs, equipment needs, or environmental and location needs.
Ask yourself in each category what do I need? For example regarding physical health you could ask yourself what are my dietary and movement needs? For spiritual health you could ask yourself what are my meditation and being outdoors in nature needs. For mental health you could ask yourself what are my needs in terms of challenging my brain and having some quiet time to myself.
Remember your core values should be congruent and in harmony with your dream.
Next step is to create your dream team. Your dream team are the people in your life who will support you in realising your dream. This could include family members, friends, personal trainers, business coaches, doctors anyone who is on your side and wants to see you succeed and that you need the support of in order to achieve your goal. Write down a list of people who will support you in realising your dream.
Next come the ABCs of dream building. ABC is an acronym which is actually read backwards beginning with C.
C stands for Clarity, B stands for Belief, and A stands Action.
Starting with clarity you need to be clear on what it is you need to do, how much time it will take, and the resources and energy you will need in realising your dream. This is where goal setting comes in.
Goals need to be SMART that is S M A R T which is another acronym.
S stands for Specific. So be clear on what it is you want to achieve and why, example ‘I want to decrease my body weighto isn’t as specific as ‘I want to feel happier and have more energy by decreasing my body weight by 10 kg’.
M stands for Measurable. This qualifies and quantifies the goal so you know when you’ve reached it or not. So sticking with the previous example you know you’ve reached your goal when you’ve decreased your weight by 10 kg.
The A and R stand for Attainable and Realistic. Your goal needs to be achievable and within the realms of possibility. So wanting to drop 10 kg in four weeks is a lot more attainable and realistic than four days.
Finally the T stands for Timeliness. Your goal needs to have an end date. This gives you two things. First it gives you a sense of urgency as you make progress toward your goal. Second it gives you a completion date on which you can check on the results you got or didn’t get. From here you can evaluate what worked and what didn’t work and then get cracking on a brand new goal.
Your turn. Write down one or two goals. Your goal should be both target-focused and means-focused or create one goal for each respectively.
So a target-focused goal would be wanting to decrease your weight by 10 kg before the 1st of December for example. A means-focused goal would be wanting to feel happier and have more energy making you a better father and husband or an employee that contributes positively to the workplace. One goal focuses on the end result while the other goal focuses on how you’re being in the process of reaching the goal.
Next, but still with the C of ABCs you need to create a plan of actionable steps that you need to take in order to achieve your goal and realise your dream.
Write down what you need to do and have done in the next 91 days or three months. Next write down what you need to do and have done in the next 28 days or one month. Then write out action steps for the next 7 days. After you’ve got your action items written out for the next 91, 28, and 7 days from today onward you are going to write down what it is you need to do today as part of completing all the action items for the week. This is your plan.
Once you’ve completed a week, review your 91, 28, and 7 day plans again and update when necessary and create a new weekly and daily plan. Repeat this process till you reach the end of your goal and evaluate the results.
After planning and gaining clarity comes belief.
Belief is a huge factor in realising your dream and accomplishing your goals. You may have a dream that seems beyond your current capabilities and skill set right now. Well believing in yourself is about having a vision of who you are going to have to be in order to realise your dream and who you will become once you’ve lived your dream. Self belief will drive out those limiting and negative thoughts that keep you as you are and prevent you from changing.
Napoleon Hill author of Think And Grow Rich, which is an oldie but a goodie in terms of personal and spiritual development books, said:
“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe the mind can achieve.”
And as Arnold Patent author of You Can Have It All says:
“To live life in ideal terms, you must first conceive of it that way.”
So before you can realise your dream in reality you must realise it in your bodymind. You must see it, envision it, embody it and fully embrace your dream. You need to believe in your self and know that you have what it takes to make your dream come true.
Now that you’re clear on what you need to do and believe in yourself the next and final step in building your dream is to take the necessary action required. You can read every single book in the world on how to ride a bike or swim, but until you put butt to bicycle seat or get your feet wet and actually have the experience all that knowledge will be of no use.
It has been said that ‘knowledge is power’, but in reality knowledge is potential power. Applying knowledge by being in action is when you are the most powerful version of yourself.
As Morpheus said to Neo in my favourite movie of all time The Matrix:
“…there’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.”
So use your empowering belief of self and take action on your plan.
“Experience is real power.”
One last thing to keep in mind is that life is a journey not a destination. Life is an ever changing process and you will need to understand that challenges and obstacles are a part of that process. The path toward your dream will be littered with many stumbling blocks. You will be able to steer clear of the most obvious hurdles that show up, but there will always be finer bumps in the road that you will never see coming that will trip you up.
So one the best tips I can leave you with when it comes to building and following your dream is to expect hardship and difficulties to show up every now and then and while you should follow your plan to the T, like a boat at sea surprised by very strong winds, don’t forget to make adjustments and course corrections along the way.
Your mission isn’t to get from A to B without a hitch. Your mission if you choose to accept it is to get from A to B with the least amount of clumsy hilariously goofy looking trips and falls as possible and to get up and stand up taller every single time.
Here’s to living the life you’ve always wanted.
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